Don’t quit

This topic is one that is VERY close to me, as myself personally and some people close to me have dealt with it on occasions. This particular one has been brought back to the forefront of my mind by news of a few events from friends of mine this week. What am I talking about? Suicide.

In my opinion, suicide in today’s society seems to be getting more common, especially with our youth. One of the things it carries with it seems to be a stereotype, or certain negative connotation, about why without us really talking or taking a look at the underlying issue(s) that caused it.

Life treats and affects everyone differently. Some of us are stronger or weaker than others. Meaning that something may not affect you much, if at all, yet that same thing could effect me very deeply and significantly. When talking about ANY mental health issue we need to keep this in mind. We are all different. With suicide, what also adds fuel to the ones left behind are a multitude of questions as to “Why” this happened. Even if a note is left(not always the case), there are questions about what led up to this tragic event. I believe that our youth are under a lot more pressure than we think these days. Not just from the parents and normal peer pressure but, also with the heightened presence of social media adding fuel to that fire. Today’s children are under a lot more pressure to “fit in” or keep up with so and so because they see someone else’s life, that they may present in an exaggerated light, plastered all over social media. It could be that they feel that their life is not good because it doesn’t “seem” to be as amazing as one of their friend’s might “appear to be” online, cyber bullying, a bad home life, or that they may just feel like they don’t measure up just to name a few. It could be any number of things that we don’t know or understand because we either choose to ignore it, or because we are so wrapped up in our hectic lives these days. I don’t think any of us can disagree that our society has changed dramatically in the past few decades after the introduction of more advanced technology and the ease of access to “stay connected” while also disconnecting with each other as a society.

As I said before, everyone is different and handles things differently. Along with that, successful and unsuccessful suicide attempts both usually are results to situations that, in many cases, are temporary and could be different. It is often hard for our younger people to see and understand that. Many things that are trivial to us are a big deal to them at this point in their lives. We need to try to remember that. Especially when dealing with younger people regarding this issue. As far as older people battling situations that may push them to suicidal thoughts, it is usually not a trivial issue but, more of a more significant situation. It too is usually just a temporary situation that gets to a point that they think it is too much for them to continue to deal with. Many of us left behind may not understand why one chooses to end a temporary situation with such a permanent result.  To be honest, when someone gets to that point, they often are so deep into whatever it is that nothing else matters or weighs too heavily in deterring them from what they are contemplating. Family, friends, or even spouses are often not enough of  a factor to stop them. This is not because they do not love us or care, they do. They are just so far into a place that they feel they don’t have a choice or that everyone would be better off with them gone. Their rational thought process is usually compromised by whatever they are dealing with at the time. It is one of those things that unless you have been there, it is very hard to comprehend. I say this not as total speculation but, from experience. I have several failed attempts in my past ranging from my late teens to as recent as the end of 2008/early 2009 with my most recent and last attempt. That was a span of almost 30 years to that point. In my cases, family, friends, my kids, etc. were not huge factors in stopping me. I loved them VERY much but was in such a dark place that their light wasn’t bright enough to shine through the darkness that I was facing. They were also each different but, took me to the same dark place. So I partially speak from my own experiences.

With that being said, to anyone out there that is in, or may be headed to, that dark place, I beg you to talk to someone. Anyone. Seek help and talk to anyone and everyone that will listen. Get whatever is weighing on you out in the open so that you can get the help you need to get through it. It will get better. I promise you that. I know that you may not see it now but, it will. Whether you are young or old, whatever it is, it will pass. So please seek help somewhere. You may think that you are doing people around you a favor but, you are not. You leave behind pain, hurt, tears, and many questions that we will not have the answers for. I know that you don’t want that anymore than we do.

I leave all of you with a few messages to carry forward…

We need to be more understanding and compassionate for each other. We do not know or understand what someone may be going through. The smallest thing or gesture can carry an enormous weight for someone else. Good or bad, it could change a life forever. To those battling something that may be getting you down, get help. Talk to someone. We love you and want you here. Whatever it is, it is guaranteed to be temporary. No matter how difficult it may be, it is temporary. Don’t quit!!


Gump was right…

Forrest Gump was right. Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you are gonna get. Let me dive a little deeper into my point if you will.

Let’s look at a box of chocolates shall we. Inside there are many different shapes, sizes, and colors. They all look a little different on the surface. Some are solid and some are filled with various fillings. Some of them we find pleasant, some of them we don’t care for. Does that sound pretty accurate so far? Ok, good.

Here is how life is very much like this box of chocolates. These chocolates are like the moments in our life. Even though some may look very similar, each one is different and holds within it something that no other has. I think that we can all agree that life itself is one giant continuous journey(the box) that is filled with so many smaller moments(the chocolates). Although life itself is quite important, what really matters are all of these moments that it holds. These moments are each unique and special. Some may look and feel similar, but no two moments are exactly the same. Each one is special unto itself. Each one also being filled with different things. Some moments are filled with things that make us happy, excited, feel good, etc. These moments, like the good chocolates, we like and want more of. We want to fill ourselves and our lives with as many of these pleasant moments as possible. On the flip side however, there are moments filled with hardships, sadness, pain, loss, etc. With these moments, we want as few as possible. Just like the chocolates that we don’t care for. Some of our bad or tough moments that we encounter, we need to dig deep and fight through to the finish. They won’t last forever. Other moments, we may be able to stop and take a different direction before we see it through to the end.

So I think that life really is like that famous box of chocolates. One enormous container that is full of many, many little moments. That, in my opinion, is the most important thing in life. The little moments. Some sweet, some sour, but all unique and full of surprising things. So, savor and enjoy the good moments, and do your best to make it through the tough and not so sweet ones. Make the most you can from all of them. None of them will last forever and you never know how many more you are gonna get.

Yeah Baby!

Every once in a while, if you are lucky enough, you come in contact with a person who is truly a life changing individual. Such is the case with myself and many others over the years at North Davidson High School in Welcome, NC and the surrounding area. People in that area know exactly who I am speaking of, Mike Lambros.

To many of us over the years, he has worn the hats of coach, teacher, mentor, father figure, and friend. Referred to simply as “Coach” or “Lambros” to many of us, Mike Lambros has had a monumental impact on all that have come in contact with him over the many, many years. Most of which has probably been an unknown to him until recently. You see, he was diagnosed with Stage 4 Pancreatic cancer and has been defying odds in his unbelievable battle for the past 14 months. Since he was first diagnosed, there has been an outpouring of support for Lambros and his battle. This past week however, he took a turn for the worst and entered into in-home Hospice care. That is when the flood gates opened even wider and the love this one man has spread over the years came flooding back to him. For such a humble man, I’m sure all of the attention he has gotten has been heart filling, yet hard to take.

I’m fairly certain that no one that has had the privilege of meeting him will ever forget his infectious smile, love, or his trademark “Yeah Baby!”. I know I haven’t. I have been lucky enough to be one of the ones that he has left a lasting impression on. He just has a way of connecting with, uplifting, and inspiring people. He is just one of those people that you never forget. On and off the field he has definitely left his mark on the community that will live on long past his time here. That is quite obvious by the immense show of respect and love he has been shown this past week. From those whose lives he has touched, to the Reynolds building in nearby Winston-Salem lighting up the night sky in bright orange. This man knows now that he is loved and respected far more than he ever could have imagined. Respect and love of that magnitude is not given. It is earned!

What we do while we live can’t really be quantified. It is all relative. I do believe however, that your worth is not measured by material things, but in what you give of yourself…the people you touch. That is your real legacy….and the best legacy a man can leave behind is the people’s lives he’s changed. He always said “Be part of something bigger than yourself”. You sir have once again lead by example and have accomplished both. Although your impressive 800+ wins and 2 state championships are great, that is not where your true legacy lies. Your legacy lies in all of us that you have touched.

We love you Coach Lambros and you will live on in all of us by who we are and what we do because of you. #WeLoveLambros #LambrosStrong #ForeverABlackKnight

Travis Adkins

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Stories have two sides

Recently there was a tragedy in the area in which I live. After hearing some of what has been going on, it caused me to think more. Not so much about the incident itself, but more of how there are two sides to many stories or events. I have thought about that topic before, as we all have, but this time I felt inspired to speak for one reason or another. There are many instances in our country lately of just this and more.

This particular incident, a young boy lost his life. That is a tragic occurrence in any situation.  As with many of these ordeals, there has been an outpouring of emotion and conflicting stories of who this young boy really was as different people knew him. I will not get into this particular story, that is not what this is about. It is more about how these events, and others, usually have two sides, especially with young people. they often lead two lives. one their families see and are part of and another when they are with their friends. Both sides are part of these individuals as they are trying to figure out who they are and where they fit in this world. This also applies to people of all ages, professions, and ethnicities. Don’t get me wrong, I am not condoning the actions that some people choose to do or be a part of. There are still usually two sides. This applies to people on both sides of the law. I will state at this point that I am a very proud supporter of Law Enforcement, our Military, as well as our Firefighters, EMS, and other emergency service workers. I also not so naive that I believe that all are good or do the right things. However, the good far out weigh the bad. The same goes for those on the other side. Not all individuals are guilty, bad, or do wrong. That is my point. There are two sides and to most events. It is not fair, nor our place, to pass judgement on a person without knowing the whole story. Also, it is not our place to pass judgement or look at whole groups of people based on what a few do or the typical stereotypes that may be portrayed. At the same time, we may not like the outcome of what is found to be true. We need to grow up and just deal with that. Life doesn’t always go the way we want it. That’s ok. It is no reason to go all crazy and wreak all kinds of havoc because something didn’t go our way.

Our country, and world, are plunging into turmoil more and more everyday because of actions like these. Our judgments of people or groups based on what we believe to be true or by things we are simply told or overheard are absurd. The only way we can begin to make this a better place is to not be so quick to be judgmental or prejudiced towards people or groups. Who are we to do that? We all have to share this rock we live on. I understand that there will be conflicts, wars, etc. What I also understand is that we have to attempt to be civil and to cohabitate on it. It is vast, but also so very small. So, what I ask of anyone who reads this is simple. Be kind, be understanding, be compassionate to others situations and stories. We all are the same yet vastly different. Under all the clothes, social status, places of origin, and color of our skin we are ALL exactly the same. Like it or not, we are all connected in that way. Don’t be so quick to judge. Would you like to be judged only be someone’s perception of you and not the reality? Every one of us has a story, most of which have at least two sides. Think about that, just think. We can make this country and world great again, but it starts with us, not our leaders. We have to be the leaders and set the example from the ground up. We the people.

Paths we take…

Many times when we meet someone new and special that enters our life, we sometimes ask them “Where were you so and so years ago?” or a similar question. Is that really a fair question to ask anyone? Yes, you may, and probably do, wish that you came into each others lives sooner. However, let’s really think about that question for a moment. If you had come into each others lives, let’s use 15-20 years ago as an example, you both were probably completely different people at those times in your own lives. Would you still have some common interests? Maybe so, but there would probably be widely different other ones. Think about it for a moment. What events and circumstances have changed and shaped your own life over the past 15-20 years? Did you have children during that time? I’m sure you wouldn’t change that at all….right? What other people or things have come in and out of your life that made you who you are today? What life circumstances, such as employment…military service…changes in geographical location, have you undergone? Are you beginning to see my point yet? I bet you are. I am a firm believer in the thought that “Everything happens for a reason”. We may not know it, or see it at the time but, I believe that everything is a stepping stone to something or somewhere else. Some of those things are most certainly our own choices but, I’m not saying to always be looking for the next good thing either at all. Choices are merely just the best, or worst, decisions we can make at any given time with the knowledge that we have at that time. Nothing more, nothing less. Some are good…some not so much. That is part of the beauty of it all. The beauty in the realization that there is something much greater(whatever you choose to believe in) at work in our lives to get us where we are meant to be. How many times have you thought to yourself “Man, I never would have seen myself here X number of years ago.”? I can almost guarantee it has been more than once. That is precisely my point! Wherever we are in our lives currently, we are most certainly supposed to be there. Everything up to this point has led us directly to that point even though it may feel indirectly in our minds. Think of it like this. Let’s say you are walking down a path in the woods. Every step you took to get where you currently are on that path was made purposely but, without even really thinking about it or regretting any one or more steps before. Without those previous steps, you would not be where you are on that path. Am I correct? So, while you are on your path, don’t necessarily pay attention to your steps, but more so on the location of the path you are on. Enjoy it. Live it. If need be somewhere down the path, veer off onto a different one. Just make sure to be on the path you want to live on at this moment in your journey. Everything ahead is still being built and laid out before us.

Don’t defeat yourself…

As humans, it is human nature to feel fear from time to time. That is perfectly ok. It is what you do when faced with that fear is what is important. If you are faced with an emergency such as an accident or fire, then yes, most definitely run if you are inclined to. I know that there are 2 types of people referred to in these types of instances….Run to and run from. I, myself, am a run to. If you are a run from, that is perfectly ok….Run.

However, that is not the type of fear I am talking about. I am talking about personal fear. That fear of the unknown as we are faced with daily decisions in some cases. Those decisions that lie at the edges of our comfort zones. The ones that keep us from changing or doing great things. That fear is a sign that there is change or progress near. That is nothing at all to be scared of! That fear is merely an obstacle that is put in place to try to keep you in your comfort zone. Comfort zones are good but we should never live there permanently. We should always seek to grow and be better than we currently are. Whether that be personally, financially, or whatever the case may be. It feels great to face that fear, kick it in the (insert body part here), and move on to bigger and better things. That is the only way we can grow and improve. News flash, that fear will ALWAYS be there. as you move from place to place and continue to grow, that fear will present itself over and over again to try to hold you back. Get used to it, but never back down from it. Don’t defeat yourself, or cheat yourself, from something great that lies just beyond that fear. Face that fear with confidence, stare it down, and walk right through. I believe in you! You can do it!! Never stop trying to improve yourself or your life. That complacency will kill your dreams, your desires, and eventually…you. Leaving you with nothing but regrets. You are better than that! I know you are. You do too. Go make your life great and be happy in knowing that you are looking ahead while enjoying the present. Just because you like the present, doesn’t mean that the future can’t be even better. Let’s go live life and make it great! Who’s with me? Let’s go! Time to roll out!



Dreams. We all have them. Not the sleepy time kind, the dreams for our future. What are yours? Really. What are they?  What are you doing to make them a reality?

You don’t have to have it all figured out. None of us do. Life is constantly changing and evolving. That is what makes it fun and challenging. If it was easy, we’d all be millionaires. Right? It doesn’t matter if you make six figures a year or eight bucks an hour, we all have dreams and ambitions. Things we want, would like to do, would like to be, and where we’d like to be.  We all have more dreams than dollars….or we should have. It is NEVER too late to get on a path to reach them. Will we every fulfill all of them….no. Or at least we shouldn’t. You need to always be looking to grow, challenge yourself, and strive to be better than you were yesterday. Whether you are homeless, broke and living in a bad place, crashing on couches, or living in a big house with all you can fill it with, we are all the same. Material things are nice and we are becoming programmed that those things are what matters. It’s not. What is important are your friends, family, dreams, desires, and ambitions. As long as we have any of those, we are richer than any bank account in Beverly Hills. As long as you have a willingness to live and be the best you can be, you have riches. Money, houses, cars, etc. can all be taken away. Your dreams and aspirations cannot. You don’t have to try to figure it all out and plan 20 years ahead. News flash…you will never figure it out. Life throws us curves and forks in the road. Life is not a straight path. Sometimes you need to detour off one path or turn around and start over to get to the one we need to be on. Just keep the dreams you have. Just because you may have to start over doesn’t mean that you can’t reach it. It just means you were on the wrong path. The one you were on wasn’t the right one to get there. When you make one a reality, create another. Keep going and reaching upwards. Think of life as stepping stones in a flower garden. Sometimes we don’t step on one exactly right and slip or fall off of it. What to you do? You just get back on it or the next one and keep moving forward. If we miss a stone or fall of, do we give up on where we were headed and turn around? Nope. We get back on it or the next one and keep going. If there is a fork in the garden, we choose a path right? Does that always go where you thought it did? Not always. Do you give up and go home, or do you try to find the right way to where you wanted to go? Sometimes it’s not easy to find that way, but we keep trying until we get there. Right? Dreams are the same. Set one and go after it. Don’t ever stop reaching for it!! Sometimes you’ll be surprised what you find and encounter along the way.

Cinco de Mayo

I hope everyone had a safe and good Cinco de Mayo if you did anything at all. I had dinner with a new and great friend at a nice Mexican restaurant I found. It was the 1st time in 43 years that I remember doing anything special for Cinco specifically at a Mexican place. It got me thinking really after I really saw how crazy it got at just this 1 place.

It is no secret that we, as Americans, love the Mexican culture and food even other than this one particular day of the year. I mean…really. We spend approximately $39 BILLION each year at Mexican restaurants and we travel to Mexico other than any other country. Yet, we treat the people so badly. Both with prejudice and income/wage wise. Why? I know that there is a huge issue with illegal immigration from there and that there are some bad people that come into our country from there as well. However, how can we cast stones and judge an ENTIRE ethnic group based on a fraction of the populous? That goes for all ethnic groups, I am using this one currently as an example. It has become part of our world today to look at people that are different than us differently sadly. After all, we are all the same on the inside…right? Our organs, blood, bones, structure, and biology are the same…right? Most of us, but not all, are derived from immigrants to this country at some point. Some of you are immigrants yourself. We must stop assuming that if someone is from another country, especially Mexico, that they are here illegally. I do agree that it should be done legally and that the illegal part needs to be addressed, but that is not my point right now. We need to do MUCH better at embracing their culture in my opinion. I feel that just by embracing the food and the travel aspects only to our gain but criticizing the rest is sort of taking advantage of them. Wouldn’t you agree? Think about it. If one of your friends or neighbors, just came over to enjoy your food and use your pool(for example) but disliked you and bashed you the rest of the time, wouldn’t you feel taken advantage of? Of course you would!! How is what we do any different really? Truth is…it’s not! Do we treat many of the European or Asian visitors or immigrants in such a way? Nope…usually not. By far, the bulk of our ethnic prejudges fall on 3 groups in my opinion. Hispanics(Mexican or not), Middle Eastern, and African American. In the last case, it is more racial than immigration related but still pretty much uncalled for in large part. In most cases, as stated above, the majority of those populous have done nothing wrong to warrant such acts of hostility and prejudice.  Anyway, back to my main point. As Americans, more so as humans, it is high time that we embrace the Mexican culture and it’s people much better. Learn more about it and them as a whole. Embrace them. Next to Mexico itself, we have the largest Mexican community in the world(most are legal) so why should we not? Or should we just continue to take advantage of them for their food and travel spots? It only makes sense right? I think so. Also, I know that there are more Latin-American people from other countries than just Mexico and they are not all the same. Like stated before, I am just using the Mexican people and culture as a primary example.

Be kind…create change

Since I am sharing older things I have written, here is one more from a few months ago…


As I lay here unable to sleep early Christmas day, I have  few thoughts I’d like to share.

Many people are celebrating this Christmas and holiday season without people they care about for the 1st time. It could be a brother, sister, son, daughter, mother or father. Maybe it’s another relative, friend, or even a celebrity or public figure that we were fond of. Either way, it can be  more difficult for some people than others. Too often we take those around us for granted and don’t realize how precious life is. Cherish the time you get with such people in your life, you never know when their time here may be up. I don’t  just mean during the holidays, but rather every chance you get throughout the year. I know we all lead busy, time consuming lives in today’s world. It is definitely a different time and place than many of us knew years ago. We can no longer let that be an excuse not to show love and the importance of those in our lives. For example, if I left this world today, how many of you would be saying or thinking “If only he knew…,if only I’d done or said…, I never got the chance to….etc”. You get the picture. Right? Make time, not excuses, for those you care about. It may be the last time you can.

Also, there is usually a stronger push during this season to help others in need or less fortunate. We even call it “The season of giving” sometimes. We, as the human race, need to do a better job of making that a year round thought process, not just a month or two out of the year. Paint if you will a picture in your mind. How much of a better community, state, country, or planet we could have if we did better spreading kindness and help to those who need it all year long? It just seems that people are more generous around this time of year. Where is that love for fellow man in let’s say…June? Is it as strong as in late November and December? I bet not in most cases. However, the need is still there just the same. Why do we let a a calendar dictate when we help others? We should be doing it regardless of what time of year it is. All I’m trying to say is that we have to change ourselves and our own thinking as individuals before we can even think about changing our society and world. We all want a better, kinder, world in which to live…right? Then change within. That will ripple out into the world. We can change the world…in time…but it has to start with us as individuals first. Drop the hatred, labels, stereotypes, and ill will. Instead, spread love, kindness, and joy. That is how we create change. It’s not going to happen on it’s own, we have to all be participants in creating it. Be the change you want to see in the world. That’s the only place it starts.

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays.

I love you all


I wrote this almost a year ago while on a flight knowing, even then, that I was interested in starting a blog such as this. So, I held onto it while I researched blogging and how to get started. That finally came to be thanks to a good friend Jamie. Thank you! I hope this entry gets you to THINK, even just for a moment.

Saturday  May 28, 2016 6:56 am

(Somewhere over Arizona)

As I sit here looking out the window as we ascend into the beautiful Arizona sky, while leaving to head back east, I ponder on some things that have crossed my mind this week while on my trip(and I have thought A LOT about life, especially mine). I can’t help but think how peaceful it is up here above it all, as well as seeing some things in nature this week that have remained untouched by man for HUNDREDS of years! I wonder what stories they could tell if they could speak? It serves as a reminder that although we all live our hetic lives doing what we do in our own little bubble in our own little spot on this GIANT planet, we are just a small speck on this place in a small speck of time. We all hear the saying “Life is short” but, I think all too often we are too busy to let that REALLY sink in or to take a moment to think about it sincerely. Life IS short and we never know when our time will be up! So, take a few moments today(or over the next few)and think about where you are. Are you where you want to be? Are you happy or just comfortable and content where you are? It is NEVER too late to change where you are or what path you are on in life. YOU are in control of your life and happiness…no one else. Make changes in you life if you need to. Employment, love, location, or whatever you need to do to live a happy and fulfilled life with minimal regrets as it nears it’s end. Be happy, loving, caring, thoughtful, generous, at peace, and help your fellow man. THAT my friends is what it is truly all about. Life is short, so live a full and meaningful one! Live life…don’t just exist!!AZ departure